The Zoom call awaits. Here's how to prep and slay in ten minutes or less.
Are you still doing the Zoom thing?
This pandemic, horrifically, is far from over. But most of us (God-willing) are back to work to some degree or another. If you're working from home, you gotta get it together enough to face your co-workers onscreen, and if you're back in the office (and a hot mess in the morning like yours truly) then it's business as usual: running behind schedule and perhaps applying your makeup in the rearview while sitting in stopped traffic or at a light that's clearly in no hurry to turn green.
I'm not tryna be a beauty influencer, because alas, my friends (I wish!) James Charles and Jaclyn Hill already have that locked down. And as you already know, design's my groove thing. But I do know a ton about beauty - not just because I'm freakishly obsessed with hair and makeup but also... little-known fact: I worked as a pro makeup artist at a bougey salon in Manhattan - one of my many exploratory careers before finally finding myself.
So let's get right to it. How do you get fabulous for Zoom as quickly as possible so you can focus on your business presentation instead of your face? (or, conversely, sleep in as long as possible) In my experience, the answer lies in these ten simple products, presented in the order I recommend you use them.
Here's the what, why, and where:
BIOSILK SILK THERAPY ORIGINAL, 5.64 fl oz; $12.22
What: a not too-thick smoothing shine gel that calms the frizzies (I live in humid Florida so trust me on this.)
Why: Let's just get the hair out of your way - literally and figuratively - before even dealing with your face. This not only does the trick, but you don't even have to do the extra step of washing the excess off your hands; it doubles as an excellent moisturizer, so just rub it on your arms or legs and move on.
Where: Amazon... how easy is that?! amazon.com
What: a simple, smart hair accessory to make you look seriously pulled together in a jiff
Why: Headbands are back so you're on-trend. You won't come off all insecure by playing with your hair the whole time. Best of all, faux tortoise goes with everything... and has never ever ever never ever steered me wrong in my entire life.
3. MAYBELLINE GREAT LASH CLEAR MASCARA, $4.39
What: It's branded as a mascara, but for me personally, it's a brow groomer.
Why: Unruly eyebrows are just unacceptable, period. Plus, they suggest you're disheveled. Even if you are, there's no need to advertise it... so just use this.
Where: Target; target.com
4. BOBBI BROWN 3-PAN CUSTOMIZABLE EYESHADOW PALETTE, $10
What: an eyeshadow palette you can make your own
Why: Bobbi Brown has been on the scene for a long time so she knows her shit. Her products are artist-driven, well-made, and classic. Eyeshadow is not an item to skimp on because drug store brands are generally low on pigment and high on fallout. A three-color look is something pretty much anyone can master. And you get to choose your own colors which is an obvious benefit.
Where: Dillard's dillards.com
*LIFE-CHANGING PRO TIP: Always do your eye makeup first before your face makeup, because otherwise, the color will likely sprinkle down onto your foundation and you'll have to start all over. You're welcome.
5. TRISH MCEVOY EYE BRIGHTENER SHELL, $25
What: a pencil to use on your waterline to look instantly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, even when you're not
Why: Long story for another time, but Trish McEvoy is the reason I became a makeup artist in the first place. And if your kids or the neighbor's barking dog or too much partying kept you up, Trish has your back.
Where: Again, Amazon has it! Woot. amazon.com
6. TARTE SHAPE TAPE, $27
What: a concealer that also works well as a color corrector in lieu of foundation
Why: If you don't need concealer, then you're an alien so why are you even reading this? Also, it's just the most bomb concealer there is. Case closed.
Where: Ulta (my second home, not even kidding) ulta.com
7. THRIVE CAUSEMETICS TRIPLE THREAT COLOR STICK, $36
What: a multi-tasker for lips, cheeks, and eyes
Why: First of all, it's a timesaver because you can put on your blush, flip the product over for a convenient blending brush, then flip back and apply as lipstick. (I myself would skip it for eyes because of the shine factor, but you do you.) Also, the brand donates to several worthy charities, so you feel good and look good when you buy/use it.
Where: Thrive Causemetics; thrivecausemetics.com
8. PHYSICIANS FORMULA MURUMURU BUTTER BRONZER, $15
What: a bronzer that's not expensive and not too shimmery
Why: because it makes you look healthy and alive, and as a bonus that's just for you, it smells like a tropical vacay
Where: For immediate gratification, you can find it at most drug stores, or if you prefer, get it straight from the source. physiciansformula.com
9. MOXIELASH STARTER KIT, $135
What: Magnetic false lashes, which are truly the best thing to happen in beauty since self-tanners stopped being orange.
Why: O.K., don't freak out. Lashes are in my wheelhouse, but even if you're not a makeup junkie/wannabee drag queen like me, these faux lashes have the ultimate "Why didn't I try this sooner?" factor. They are sooooo quick and easy, even if you're a novice. And this starter kit is great for lash virgins, especially the "baby lashes" in the top row which look very natural on. Listen, if you're too nervous, simply proceed to your nearest mascara... and remember there's always tomorrow.
Where: As far as I know, you can only get them at: moxielash.com
10. KISS imPRESS PRESS-ON MANICURE in "Lighten Up", $7.99
What: economical, self-adhesive, natural-looking nails that stick on, and stay on without any glue
Why: You guys, these have seriously saved my life more times than I can count. Ain't nobody got time for a mani... especially if you're someone who can't sit still or of course, if you're quarantining. There are countless varieties, but I like this set because it's tasteful, not too long and pointy, and if the glittery accent nails are inappropriate for your Zoom workplace, you can save them for the weekend or the holidays.
Where: Ulta; ulta.com (Target and most drug stores sell them too.)
OK ladies... you're all set. Good luck on your Zoom. Knock 'em dead! And don't forget to log in and leave a comment to let me know how it went.